Every third Monday of September, Japan observes 敬老の日, Keirō no Hi — Respect for the Aged Day. It is a national holiday, which means offices close and families have the opportunity to travel. Many people use it to visit grandparents and elderly relatives they have not seen since お盆 in August. The long weekend has a particular quality — purposeful, unhurried, oriented toward the people who came before.

I think about my own grandparents when this day comes around. The things they knew that I only partly understand. The patience they had that I am still working toward.

Why Japan honours age differently

Japan has the oldest population of any country in the world. More than a quarter of Japanese people are over 65. This is a demographic fact with many implications — economic, social, political. But it also reflects something cultural: in Japan, old age is not something to be managed or minimized. It is something to be respected.

The Confucian concept of 孝, kō — filial piety, respect for parents and elders — has been woven into Japanese society for centuries. Grandparents are not peripheral figures in Japanese family life. They are consulted, included, lived with in many cases. Their experience is understood to have value that cannot be replicated by any amount of youth or energy.

敬老の日 was established as a national holiday in 1966, initially observed on September 15th — a date chosen for its historical association with a 7th century edict promoting the welfare of the elderly. It moved to the third Monday of September in 2003 under the Happy Monday system, which shifted several holidays to create long weekends. The date changed. The intention did not.

How it is observed

The day is marked in different ways depending on the household. Some families gather for a meal. Others send seasonal gifts — flowers, sake, sweets, something from the recipient's hometown. Local governments and community centres hold events for elderly residents, often with performances, crafts, or small ceremonies. Children in schools make cards and craft objects to bring home to grandparents.

Some people spend the day volunteering in nursing homes or community spaces — a recognition that not everyone has family nearby, and that respect for age does not stop at the edge of one's own family.

What wabi sabi has to do with it

There is a connection between 敬老の日 and the aesthetic sensibility that underlies this shop. Wabi sabi is, at its core, a way of seeing beauty in age — in the worn, the weathered, the things that carry the marks of time and use. A bowl that has been repaired. A broom that has been used for twenty years. A face that has lived in it.

The same quality of attention that makes us value an old tool — the understanding that time spent in use is not deterioration but accumulation — applies to people. The elders in our lives have been worn into shape by experience. That is not diminishment. That is depth.

敬老の日 is a reminder to notice that. One day a year, formally. And perhaps more often, quietly, the rest of the time.